Gambling Jokes and The Funniest Sayings Around the Table
August 9, 2019 Ken Johnson
Howdy, partners! In a true wild west manner, we would like to introduce you to our newest fetish – gathering the funniest jokes related to gambling, cards and table games. And while we find them all amusing, we want to underline that nothing that we write is in the mood of mockery to different players, games or problematic gambling habits! Hopefully, you will find our article as funny as we were feeling while writing it!
Poker Puns and Card Jokes
If you are an experienced player and you have your company of fellow card lovers, you most likely already came across some of the card jokes, but still, they are hilarious and if you see something unknown, it will be your chance to shine on your next gathering around the table!
- Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? – They always fold!
- Yesterday I lost a lot of money… I played against one of the big cats. – Most likely was a cheetah!
- What is the biggest difference between a church and a poker room? – In a poker room, you really mean it when you pray!
- What did the dealer say to the deck of cards? – I can’t deal with you anymore!
- Have you ever heard of the sarcastic gambler? – Yeah, he is a real eye-roller!
- The kid could be the perfect maid, ’cause all he does is fold, fold, fold!
- Why pirates cannot play cards? – Because they are standing on the deck!
Table Jokes and Gambling Anecdotes
Undeniably, card and poker give food for thought to every person with a good sense of humour, but they are not the only ones! Except for the funny card jokes, also other types of gambling, like roulette and blackjack have their fair share of jokes, which we would like to share with you! Our favourite gambling jokes from these sections are below.
- What do you call Russian roulette for vampires? – High stakes poker!
- Oh, this roulette dealer has a unique personality! – Yes, he has a different spin on everything!
- What do you call it when Boris Johnson picks a new member of the government? – Russian Roulette!
- What activity can reduce a person’s chance of dying of cancer by 16.6%? – Russian Roulette
- Do you know why they call the number 17 “the mother in law”? – Because you really want to hit it, but you can’t!
- What do dating and blackjack have in common? – I always hit on a soft twelve
As you can see, there are some ridiculous puns and table jokes that can make everybody laugh! Of course, the jokes are endless and you can see our blog post with some of the funniest bets out there as well. We laughed, surely you did too! So, you can be the star of the next party and you can narrate the funny gambling sayings that you learned today! But there are few anecdotes, that are slightly longer, yet worth reading!
- A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, ‘Alice, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!’
- Alice replies, ‘Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?’
- The man responds, ‘I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon!’
- An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
- She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude’.
- With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, ‘Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!’
- As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. ‘YES! YES! I WON, I WON!’
- She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
- The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, ‘What did she roll?’
- The other answered, ‘I don’t know – I thought you were watching.’
Here we go, we reached the end of our tiny article. If you want more, you could check out our post about the top myths and truths on how to win on slots, for example. The only aim we had was to amuse you and we sincerely hope that we succeeded! Check out the other posts that we have, which while not that funny, are filled with interesting topics too! You can also see which are the best online casinos around if you feel inspired and you want to test your luck!
